Wednesday evening in Ubud, Bali.
I’m at a restaurant having dinner. At the table next to mine is a couple. He looks like he’s in his mid fifties, she looks a bit younger. He looks rough. Shorts, tank top, unshaved, messy hair and apparently from New Zealand. She is blond with a nice hair cut, earrings, nice dress, younger than him and apparently from Russia.
He is constantly talking. His phone delivers a pling every few minutes and he emidiately picks up the phone to check it. He speaks loud in a cocky way and interrupts her. He tells her different stories which all is about how amazing he is
She is timid, speaks with a low voice and looks at him in an admiring way with a smile on her face affirming him with tine nods.
He is the rooster showing off his tail feathers and she is admiring them.
The other day I had lunch at a local place. A family consisting of father, mother and two children came and sat at the table next to me. They seemed to be in a hurry so they finished their lunch quickly. 45 minutes tops. This man didn’t stop talking during these 45 minutes. The wife tried to say something twice but he interrupted her efficiently both times.
These are just two examples out of many I have seen during my trip around Asia. One might think that this is a cultural thing locals engage with. But no, these are tourists. Caucasian middle aged med being so full of themselves.
What I can not understand with this is how these women put up with being treated that way. Are women so desperate for not being single? Is this how women were brought up? How is it possible this is still happening.
Manspreading, Mansplaining, Mantalking …
I read an article about a research done on how men express their opinions on things they don’t know for sure but say it in a very assertive way. And people never question them.
I saw a video showing scientist Veronica Hubeny being interrupted and mansplained her own research by the male moderator. Fortunately there was a woman who finally reacted and asked him to let Ms Hubeny talk.
I read an article telling about an Uber board member tried to joke that women talk too much. But the reality is that ”women have not been judged on the grounds of wether they talk more than men, but of wether they talk more than silent women”.
Why not start doing as J.K. Rowling did the other day when she unfollowed a man on Twitter because he called Teresa May a whore. Aren’t we all, just like Ms Rowling said, sick of men whose mask slips every time a woman displeases them and who reach immediately for crude and humiliating words.
Let’s start unfollowing men who doesn’t deserve the attention they want and show some self respect.
Let’s start unfollowing.
And for the record. I don’t dislike men in general.