Im in a hotel room in New Delhi trying to recover.
I left Rishikesh two days ago, and everyone were commenting on the weather change. Yes, mornings were getting a bit more chilly and it got a bit more windy than it had been during the past month I stayed there. There was a change in the weather and people got colds and runny noses and eventually so did I. Best medicine is sleep. So I’ve tried to sleep a lot. Trying to recover from the cold. All it takes is time an sleep.
I left Rishikesh two days ago and I am now trying to recover from lack of awareness and being attached.
Rishikesh is a very spiritual place and people with a lot of knowledge come and stay for long or short period of time. It turned out to be The place where I had the most inspiring conversations. Mind blowing and mind bending and mind stretching and …
Connecting with people is an orgasmic feeling. When you connect with someone everything is so easy. You don’t have to explain yourself, you don’t have to justify your behaviour, you can just be you and there are no questions asked or explanations required.
Like the woman in the chai stall, my second home in Rishikesh. In the beginning she used to have this serious and just a bit angry face. One day she gave me that tiny smile, a couple of days later she smiled more, a week later she touched my hand when handing me the chai glass. Another day she rested her hand on mine while getting something out of the fridge. No eye contact, just her hand resting on mine. And then the day, when she put her hand on my arm, holding my arm, looking me in the eyes and in a low but steady voice saying this one word.
Sometimes words are of no importance. And sometimes words hit you hard.
Before I left Rishikesh I went to the chai stall, I looked my sister in the eyes, we hugged in silence, and I turned around and left. And I cried.
I cried because of happiness and gratefulness.
I found a sister. I found a teacher. I found a daughter. They all found a place in my heart and therefor they will always be with me.
Wisdom is not about knowing things but knowing how to practice the wisdom.
I spoke with my daughter this morning and I told her about my people in Rishikesh. And we both cried. She cried because she is that amazing person, emphatic, understanding. A young woman I am so proud to call my daughter. And I know I am so fortunate to have her in my life. And my Rishikesh people. An my people back home. And my people in Malaysia. But …
Everything changes, nothing stays the same.
Tonight I’m leaving India, but India will never leave me.
According to Buddhism, all our struggles stem from attachment.