Some days are more trying than others. It is getting emotional.
I am a week away from leaving. Friends are calling, realizing this is the last time in a long time we are going to meet in person. To have the confidential talk, to share, like a gift to bring on the journey, like a gift to keep like a treasure while I am away.
7 more days. I am a bit worn out.
It affects me more than I want, watching my home dismantled, piece by piece, clothes are folded, personal belongings packed, colors canvases and brushes, projects I have started but never finished, projects finished looked at them with the evaluating eye, packing, up and down, opening the padlock, stacking my belongings in the storage. I love my home. I love traveling.
This makes me think of things we own and the human desire to collect. We all love to have beautiful things or things that holds a story valuable to us. My friends and people who know me, wouldn’t define me as a collector. I don’t have a lot. But the things I own are precious to me and I look at them every day. I have walked the downsizing road and I wouldn’t want to go back. Downsizing has given me an inner peace.
And yet I found a lot of things I really do not need while packing. The closest second hand store, Emmaus, is a brilliant place. Gives me so much satisfaction knowing my things will do good to others. This is something everybody should do once a year. Go through your stuff once a year and be really honest with your selves when you think Do I really need this … If not, let someone else have it, donate, let the next person enjoy it. But above all, don’t buy something new to fills that hole. Instead try to enjoy the space. And remember, the less things we own the less time we need to put in to maintenance.
Today I remembered when I was i 8th grade. I was in to performing, mostly dancing and singing. I used to choreograph and I performed either solo or together with friends. The worst moment was just before I entered the stage. The best moments were the once on stage. When things were put into motion, when the only thing I could do was to do what I had started.
This last week will probably be the worst. Dismantling my home and saying goodbye to the once I love. It is going to be the most challenging and emotional week this year.