Posted on 2 Comments

Dear Stranger …

Dear stranger who gave me a lousy review on my FB-page Madlen Hjelmroth – Photography & Storytelling. 

I know your name but I don’t know who you are. We have never interacted and therefore we have never had a dialogue. You never contacted me, you never asked me any questions and you never wanted to know anything about me. But yet you seem to think that you know a lot about me. Apparently, you know that I am a bad person. Therefore you want to inform the world about how bad a person I am.

I read your review and decided to help you out in your quest. This is how bad a person I am.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a man who told me that he doesn’t like Facebook because of the culture in it. He is not the only one to have that opinion. There are many people who say they don’t want to be on social media for the same reason. I have always defended the internet and social media because it is not about the internet and social media. It is about how people are using it, how they behave. The bottom line is that the way people using it, you and me,  are the ones responsible for the culture in it. Just the way we are responsible for our actions and the culture outside social media. In real life. The only difference between social media and real life is that on social media we can write stuff without having to look the other person in the eye. It is like an invisible barrier between sender and receiver. It’s so easy to point at the other person and write stuff without bothering about the consequences. The consequences the other person will have to deal with. 

I am a woman and daily I have to deal with the patriarchy surrounding me and all other women on this globe. Men who say and do things that are offensive but justifying it by saying that they didn’t mean anything by it or that I was the one who misunderstood them. Men who are schooling women in things women already know or that make remarks about details in order to show off their own knowledge. The thing that is called Mansplaining. 

Mansplaining means that men try to explain things to women who already know the fact. Men do it without being invited nor asked to explain. They take it as their quest to inform, teach or in general show off. 

I don’t tolerate Mansplaining on my FB-wall. No matter if the mansplaining is pointed or directed towards me or another woman. That doesn’t mean that man is a bad person but it doesn’t mean I have to tolerate his action.

I don’t tolerate Mansplaining in real life neither. When that happens I tell the mansplainer that his explanations are not asked for and that he can stop. That doesn’t mean that man is a bad person but it doesn’t mean I have to tolerate his action. 

You see, there are a lot of things I don’t tolerate. Like misuse of power, mental or physical abuse, fake news, misinformation, humans and animals being mistreated in different ways, littering, plastic straws and million of other things i believe don’t belong in any society. I am always the first to offer help when I see someone in need of it. I am not afraid of you writing a lousy review on my FB-page. It doesn’t intimidate me. I know who I am. I stand firmly on my own two. 

Who knows, one day we might bump in to each other. If I notice you were in some sort of distress, I would offer my help. If someone was offending you, I would defend you. And if you were the one to cause someone else’s distress, I would ask you to stop. Because that is who I am.  

2 thoughts on “Dear Stranger …

  1. Bra formulerat!!! Har inte läst på din Fb men minns att du berättade att du upplevde att det är ett annat “samtalsklimat” på Instagram och mer positiva kommentarer än på Fb. Fortsätt att vara en stark kvinnlig förebild som klarar av att leva och resa utan att få råd av en man utan att be om det. Förresten undrar jag om du “bo-jobbar” nuförtiden? Med tanke på din senaste bild med så mycket arbete med skörd mm. Varma kramar från ett varmt Ystad! ? Rebecca

  2. Tack för dina uppmuntrande ord Rebecca. Ja, tyvärr är det ju så att många av de som hörs mest har minst intressanta tankar att dela med sig av. Men, jag har inte levt så länge som jag nu har för att vika mig för galenskaper.

    Jag har stannat upp några veckor i en liten by vid foten av Himalaya för att betrakta, vila och skriva. Livet här är så uppfriskande på ett sätt. Kanske att jag gör ett ’bo-jobb’ till innan jag kommer tillbaka, men det blir nog inte i Indien.

    Hoppas allt är bra med dig. Kramar om dig

Comments are closed.