Yesterday I attended a lecture about The Chemistry Of Love. Anna-Lena Ström, associate professor in Neurochemistry at Stockholm University holding the lecture, told us that love is pretty much all about chemistry.
There are tre independent components involved in love. Lust, Romantic love and Pairing. So these three components can occurs alone or combined with one or both other components. Pairing for instance occurs between friends. You can love your friends without feeling lust or being romantically in love with them. Ok, so you get the picture.
Ms Ström told us a lot about research in this field. On animals and on humans. Fascinating how far technology has come. Now they can send proteins into the brain and when a feeling occurs the protein will glow and the scientists can see exactly where the feeling occurs.
The chemical thing starts in the Hypothalamus. That is the caveman brain. One of the parts in our bodies we can not control. Chemistry.
So, what happens to us when chemistry hits the intelligent human being and why am I writing about love. Because life is full of different kind of love wherever we are. Friends, lovers, places, pets, hobbies, strangers … Because when chemistry isn’t there to help we need to find other ways to maintain the love. Like respect, trust, compassion and a lot of other important words.
We fall in love, we spent time together and we get to know each other. Or do we know each other?
The best way to check if you still know the person you love is to ask questions. How are you, What are you thinking of, What are your thoughts on this or that. In stead of saying You were the one who stoped calling me, ask the question Why did you stop calling me. That will give you answers worth listening to.
Asking questions is a respectful way of getting to know a person. Asking questions is an action of love if asked because you really want to hear the answer. That is applicable to all sorts of relationships. At home or away.
Ask questions if you are prepared to listen to the answers and you will not only get to know that person. You will also get to know yourself better.